Nanoha's Problem
by Kaijo
Summary: It's been building up for over 10 years. A fic designed to make almost everybody happy!


**Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha**

**Nanoha's Problem**

Xx~~*~~xX

"Okay, now just lay back, relax and tell me what's on your mind," the psychologist soothed..

Nanoha took a few deep breaths as she took her place on the couch and gazed at the intricate designs on the ceiling. "Well, I'm scared, I guess."

"Scared of what?" the doctor asked.

"Hurting people mostly, but also of myself," Nanoha explained a bit cryptically. "I knew I was different for a long while, but I held myself back. I... had feelings for my best friend, Fate. But two women loving each other isn't supposed to be strange in this day and age, right?"

The doctor smiled, amused. "As long as it's consensual, almost any kind of relationship is fine. You seem worried about what people may think, but would your friends really think of you that differently?"

Nanoha sighed. "I think so. I mean, that's also part of the problem, because Yuuno also has feelings for me."

"And what do you think of him?"

"He's kind, brave, and cute..." she began, listing his qualities, and then trailed off, realizing what she was saying. "Yes, I have feelings for him, too!"

"So you are afraid of hurting others by going with one or the other," the psychologist concluded. "You'd like them both."

"Yeah," she admitted, as if seeing it for the first time. "I've kinda ignored the whole issue for a long time now, but I gather people might be getting upset. Plus, there's also the issue with Subaru."

"How do car problems fit into this?" the doctor asked, surprised.

"Oh, sorry, that's the name of one of my former students," Nanoha clarified. "She's a few years younger, and has developed a crush on me. She also likes a female friend of hers."

The doctor scribbled on his pad. "I see..."

"And there's Arisa, who I think has liked me since we were kids, and last week I caught Suzuka staring at me in the changing room and drooling," Nanoha despaired, beginning to break down. "And what's more, Vice keeps asking me out, Chrono and Amy have suggested I 'join them' sometime, Lindy keeps asking me over while wearing nothing but lingerie, Genya keeps hinting to me that he wants to remarry, and Hayate keeps grabbing my chest AND I LIKE IT!"

Nanoha dissolved into tears.

"Hmm, I can see how that can be tough," the psychologist admitted.

"So I'm crazy, right, doctor?" the emotionally-fraught girl questioned through tears. "And if I pick the wrong one, I just know someone is going to hate me!"

"Actually, I think you're quite sane," he told her. "And I may just have the answer for you."

Nanoha dried her eyes, looking up as he handed her a business card. "I'm not sure I understand..."

"It's a solution that I wrote a paper about it in the Journal of Psychology, naming it after myself," he informed, smiling mysteriously with a twinkle in his eye. "It solved all my problems, although things can still get a bit hectic from time to time. If you decide to go this route, my family owns a shrine that you can use, as well."

Nanoha furrowed her brow in confusion as she read the business card of Dr. Tenchi Masaki...

x~~*~~x

All were agreed it was a lovely ceremony and that Nanoha looked positively lovely in her wedding gown; the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was much joy in the air.

"And do you, um, well, do you take the bride to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you, um, shall live?"

"WE DO!" came the combined shout from Fate, Yuuno, Chrono, Amy, Arisa, Suzuka, Arf, Hayate, Signum, Vita, Zafira, Shamal, Rein, Agito, Subaru, Teana, Kaijo, Lindy, Genya, Ginga, Nove, Cinque, Wendi, Dieci, Sein, Otto, Deed, Jail, Uno, Quattro, Tre, Sette, Carim, Schach, Alto, Shari, Griffith, Verossa, Mariel, and Auris. And Due, posthumously.

The priest sweated. "Um, you may now all kiss the bride..."

He barely got out the way of the stampede.

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

There, I think I satisfied every shipper in the world. If you aren't familiar with the psychologist, google tvtropes and Tenchi Solution! (and if you're not a shipper, then pretend this is all a dream!)

Oh, I almost forgot...

Xx~~*~~xX

Bonus ending:

Nanoha tossed the bouquet through the air, and was somehow caught by six people at the same time: Caro, Lutecia, Vivio, Einhart, Rio, and Corona. Meanwhile, Erio looked at the garter in his hands and sighed.


End file.
